Superman Returns (2006)

SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006) - **1/2

Good ideas mean squat if they're botched in the execution.

Seriously, Bryan Singer had such a great idea and he just drops the damn ball. Considering how this decade so far has been a disaster for the world so far, the idea of the messianic Superman returning to Earth to clean the whole mess is a nice fantasy idea. You can make wonders with such a concept (instead of rehashing the Superman myth that Richard Donner did right the first time around).

But damn, the problems with Singer's execution are:

(1) I don't care if Supes wanted to see if his people are truely dead or not. I don't buy the concept that he would just leave Earth, and his massive responsibilities he took upon himself, for a 5 year trip. Singer had this half-ass idea, later deleted, that Lex Luthor "faked" the scientific data about Kryptonians possibly still living, so that Supes would leave Earth and without Supes testifying at his trial, Luthor gets acquitted. Again, why would Supes abandon THAT responsibility at least?

(2) The cast is too young. Now as much as I was surprised with Brandon Routh's work, for he's surprisingly a pretty good Superman, the problem isn't the acting, its just that to make such a concept of Superman missing out on love and family, there has to be a middle-age sensibility and melancholy to this tale. Basically the popcorn happy version of WATCHMEN, you could say. I would have wanted to visually represented that Supes and Luthor has battled time and time before, but this leads into the next problem.

(3) I like the rough idea of Singer using the Donner SUPERMAN movies as the "continuity foundation," but Singer keeps junk that nobody I'm sure ever cared for, like the damn camp humor. I don't want a Lex Luthor who is obsessed with real estate or has incompetent underlings or isn't much of a true threat to Supes.

(4) I wanted a ruthless bastard Luthor. I want a guy who could have been a great benefit to humanity, except he's obsessed with domination and power. I wanted a Lex Luthor like Clancy Brown voice-acted in the 1990's animated Timm/Bruce-era. You know, the sort who would openly call the Legion of Doom's leader a fool, pulls out a gun and blow away Gorilla Grodd, and takes over the leadership. I want Luthor to be a bad mother fucker.

(5) If Superman's kid could throw a damn piano, why couldn't he lift off the door he was locked in?

(6) Take those moments when Supes makes his triumphant return or when he's near death. They should be in a better movie.

Sadly, the biggest failure for SUPERMAN RETURNS is symbolic in itself. You have Lois Lane winning a Pulitzer for writing a column titled "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman."

But she nor anyone ever explains exactly why. Thing is, you could actually make an argument against Supes. I mean, Kevin Spacey is right, Superman is damn selfish with his Kryptonian technology. Sure he creates a cool shack and all in the Fortress of Solitude, and beats up bank robbers weekly but share it with the rest of the human race to better it? No. Or the fact that he is practically a God that, if he wanted to, he could take control of the world in order to "save" it.

Instead, Singer wastes this ripe-idea into making Lane look like some bitch who's peaved off that Supes left town after knocking her up, who is then won over in the end.

Then again, talented filmmakers tend to drop the ball when they're brains are too wrecked by prescription pill-abuse and getting sex favors from desperate male actors & assistants looking for jobs. One wonders on the set of that WW2 drama Singer is making, who is more screwed up: Him or Tom Cruise?

Indeed it is

I hate Superman.

Well, the Fleischer Bros' cartoons are mostly cute, but how the fuck anyone ever thought they could construct compelling drama around that character is beyond me.

I remember being bored out of my wits watching this film.

I haven't even seen Diary of the Dead yet. :/

I have been meaning to lay out my thoughts on Into the Wild. I actually made a post about it on the CHUD boards immediately after seeing it, since they all loved the shit out of it, but I can't find it. My opinion of it's lower now than it was then, too. I'll get to it eventually. I need to shit all over The Dark Knight first.

Zzz... a billionaire who dresses up as a bat to fight crime is every bit as ludicrous an idea to try to take seriously.

Not when you remember the key struggle in the charecter: search for justice v. vengence.

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Discussion continued here.

No no. That was the first superman film.

I don't read comic books, so all my knowledge of the characters comes from cartoons and video games. But yeah, I like Spider-Man a lot.