Post by ronnierocketago on Jan 29, 2010 10:15:26 GMT
MONEY TRAIN (1995) - **1/2
In Wesley Snipes and Woody Harleson's second and last collaboration, MONEY TRAIN isn't as good as WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP. Shit MONEY TRAIN isn't even a good movie. MONEY TRAIN is basically WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP but without real writing, real director, real people, real drama, real scenarios. What does shine though this totally disposable buddy crime caper is the wonderful chemistry between the leads. The only reason honestly (if you're strongly determined) to watch this. It made my 99 cent iTunes rental worthwhile. Even if they're stuck working with bland uninspired dialogue from a run of the mill screenplay probably rewritten into oblivion by an army of script doctors, you still very much enjoy the Snipes and Harleson interaction. Especially when they bust each other's balls.
You can't buy such terrific chemistry, guys who react naturally in action and comedy synch with each other's tics and bullshit. I must admit there is one quality scene in MONEY TRAIN, when the two get wrapped up in another vicious argument, some gangbangers try to mug them at gun point....and the guys just ignores them. I love the bewildered looks of the hoods when Snipes and Harleson pull out their firearms, but at each other. The only time I smiled during MONEY TRAIN.
The plot, quite unfocused and rambling, is that Snipes and Harleson are foster brothers (eh?) who both became NYPD cops and serve on the same Subway unit. They spend their nights on the platform busting pick pockets, hookers, drug dealers, and bums. Like his character in WHITE MEN, Harleson is a compulsive (lousy) gambler and is in debt to the mob. And he can't help it, but he's also a real fuck up. Snipes at one point gives Harleson the money to keep his legs, which promptly gets lifted from him on the train by a little old lady. Pathetic.
Anyway he gets the bright idea of robbing the "money train," the nightly train route which collects all the subway fares. Now I don't know how this money train operates in reality, and I'm sure the most desperate hustlers and random crackheads would love to steal a cut, but I sincerely doubt these metropolitan beaucratical rides are staffed by trigger happy military commandos armed to the teeth. Hell they make Blackwater look reasonable. There is espcially this laughable early scene when Harleson and Snipes are chasing a kid thief who unfortunately runs into this army. They waste him without hesitation, and all this is swept aside. No big deal. Yeah because New York City won't react to white police blowing away an unarmed minority.
Then again, what do you expect from such a fascist outfit run by Robert Blake? To give him credit, those guys sure never miss. He trained them well. You'll also get a kick from how Blake continuously endangers the lives wrecklessly of his men, subway staff, cops, and passengers on a daily basis over the most trivial things. My question isn't the logic of fellow cop Jennifer Lopez taking him down in the end on this charge, but why didn't she do this sooner?
Oh shit, I forgot all about Lopez, who did MONEY TRAIN early in her acting career back when she would go topless alot. OK that's two reasons. And that's not a pun. She's supposed to represent a love triangle of conflict for Snipes and Harleson, testing their friendship, all that standard issue conflict. Because you know a train robbery isn't enough plot for a movie. But all that crap really doesn't go anywhere. Besides, it's not much of a choice: That dude on CHEERS and ZOMBIELAND or BLADE? Well it would be if Snipes wasn't going to jail.
Because MONEY TRAIN absolutely needed another subplot, we get one about a psychotic arsonist (Chris Cooper) who pours gasoline inside those bullet-proof ticket booths through a tube, then set the workers on fire. In spite of this set-up, this doesn't matter either ultimately, to which you wonder what was the point? Why would Cooper waste his time on this? Well I know why, but that isn't a good enough excuse. Unfortunately after MONEY TRAIN was released, some real-life assholes duplicated similar torchings in the NYC subway, killing an attendent. Then-Presidential candidate Bob Dole, in total violation of the Republican Party's (now extinct) libertarian streak, called for a total boycott of the movie.
The director was Joseph Ruben, who I would have expected more from since had previously directed the nightmare adventure DREAMSCAPE and the trashy slasher THE STEPFATHER. You know, two movies you actually enjoyed watching. Then again maybe not considering his other later output like the dolt (hit) Julia Roberts thriller SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY and THE GOOD SON, that really awkward and disturbingly silly misfire about evil Macaulay Culkin trying to murder Elijah Wood.
There is a point during MONEY TRAIN when I stopped myself while watching this dreck and thought: Why? Why the fuck am I watching MONEY TRAIN instead of a Fellini title or an insightful and educational documentary about critical issues that matter? Why aren't I doing my laundry? Look for a better job? Run a few tracks around the neighborhood, lose a few poinds? Help make a real difference for society?
No really, why?
In Wesley Snipes and Woody Harleson's second and last collaboration, MONEY TRAIN isn't as good as WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP. Shit MONEY TRAIN isn't even a good movie. MONEY TRAIN is basically WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP but without real writing, real director, real people, real drama, real scenarios. What does shine though this totally disposable buddy crime caper is the wonderful chemistry between the leads. The only reason honestly (if you're strongly determined) to watch this. It made my 99 cent iTunes rental worthwhile. Even if they're stuck working with bland uninspired dialogue from a run of the mill screenplay probably rewritten into oblivion by an army of script doctors, you still very much enjoy the Snipes and Harleson interaction. Especially when they bust each other's balls.
You can't buy such terrific chemistry, guys who react naturally in action and comedy synch with each other's tics and bullshit. I must admit there is one quality scene in MONEY TRAIN, when the two get wrapped up in another vicious argument, some gangbangers try to mug them at gun point....and the guys just ignores them. I love the bewildered looks of the hoods when Snipes and Harleson pull out their firearms, but at each other. The only time I smiled during MONEY TRAIN.
The plot, quite unfocused and rambling, is that Snipes and Harleson are foster brothers (eh?) who both became NYPD cops and serve on the same Subway unit. They spend their nights on the platform busting pick pockets, hookers, drug dealers, and bums. Like his character in WHITE MEN, Harleson is a compulsive (lousy) gambler and is in debt to the mob. And he can't help it, but he's also a real fuck up. Snipes at one point gives Harleson the money to keep his legs, which promptly gets lifted from him on the train by a little old lady. Pathetic.
Anyway he gets the bright idea of robbing the "money train," the nightly train route which collects all the subway fares. Now I don't know how this money train operates in reality, and I'm sure the most desperate hustlers and random crackheads would love to steal a cut, but I sincerely doubt these metropolitan beaucratical rides are staffed by trigger happy military commandos armed to the teeth. Hell they make Blackwater look reasonable. There is espcially this laughable early scene when Harleson and Snipes are chasing a kid thief who unfortunately runs into this army. They waste him without hesitation, and all this is swept aside. No big deal. Yeah because New York City won't react to white police blowing away an unarmed minority.
Then again, what do you expect from such a fascist outfit run by Robert Blake? To give him credit, those guys sure never miss. He trained them well. You'll also get a kick from how Blake continuously endangers the lives wrecklessly of his men, subway staff, cops, and passengers on a daily basis over the most trivial things. My question isn't the logic of fellow cop Jennifer Lopez taking him down in the end on this charge, but why didn't she do this sooner?
Oh shit, I forgot all about Lopez, who did MONEY TRAIN early in her acting career back when she would go topless alot. OK that's two reasons. And that's not a pun. She's supposed to represent a love triangle of conflict for Snipes and Harleson, testing their friendship, all that standard issue conflict. Because you know a train robbery isn't enough plot for a movie. But all that crap really doesn't go anywhere. Besides, it's not much of a choice: That dude on CHEERS and ZOMBIELAND or BLADE? Well it would be if Snipes wasn't going to jail.
Because MONEY TRAIN absolutely needed another subplot, we get one about a psychotic arsonist (Chris Cooper) who pours gasoline inside those bullet-proof ticket booths through a tube, then set the workers on fire. In spite of this set-up, this doesn't matter either ultimately, to which you wonder what was the point? Why would Cooper waste his time on this? Well I know why, but that isn't a good enough excuse. Unfortunately after MONEY TRAIN was released, some real-life assholes duplicated similar torchings in the NYC subway, killing an attendent. Then-Presidential candidate Bob Dole, in total violation of the Republican Party's (now extinct) libertarian streak, called for a total boycott of the movie.
The director was Joseph Ruben, who I would have expected more from since had previously directed the nightmare adventure DREAMSCAPE and the trashy slasher THE STEPFATHER. You know, two movies you actually enjoyed watching. Then again maybe not considering his other later output like the dolt (hit) Julia Roberts thriller SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY and THE GOOD SON, that really awkward and disturbingly silly misfire about evil Macaulay Culkin trying to murder Elijah Wood.
There is a point during MONEY TRAIN when I stopped myself while watching this dreck and thought: Why? Why the fuck am I watching MONEY TRAIN instead of a Fellini title or an insightful and educational documentary about critical issues that matter? Why aren't I doing my laundry? Look for a better job? Run a few tracks around the neighborhood, lose a few poinds? Help make a real difference for society?
No really, why?