Post by ronnierocketago on Nov 26, 2008 17:46:24 GMT
ROCKY IV (1985) - *1/2
Most casual movie-fans forget that Sylvester Stallone is also a prolific scriptwriter, mostly of course of his own star vehicles. The only remarkable cine-literary works of his pretty much were his re-write for FIRST BLOOD that finally got that legendary development-hell project onto the big screen, and of course his Oscar-nominated ROCKY script.
ROCKY was a great little drama, coming out in a year of (superior) classics like Sidney Lumet's NETWORK, Martin Scorsese's TAXI DRIVER, and Alan Pakula's ALL THE PRESIDENT'S MEN. But ROCKY won the belt, and really I've never had a problem with that. Sure my personal pick would have been maybe NETWORK, but better an undeniably pretty darn good picture like ROCKY wins than undeserving forgettable Oscar bait like SHAKESPEARE IN LOVE or worse CRASH.
But with each proceeding ROCKY sequel, Stallone gradually floats further away from the emotional histrionic geist that made ROCKY such a champion in the first place, in favor of more and more simplistic reactionary blunt storytelling (i.e. lazy) more fitting for action genre exercises, and the franchise gets shoddier as a result.* When most folks defending ROCKY IV usually seem to use the common argumentation of either nostalgia or Mystery Science Theatre 3000-esque "so bad it's good!", your movie isn't worth fighting (pun!) for.
People also usually forget that Stallone actually himself directed several ROCKY pictures, including number IV. How many actors you know of who've shot consecutive blockbuster hits? But my first quirk with ROCKY IV begins when Stallone reuses the ending of ROCKY III (which Stallone also shot) where Sly and Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) duke it out in a sparring session. I mean I can understand the purpose of limited clips from previous entries to make a dramatic point or something, but this nearly borders on SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 2 territory here, which that slasher sequel was practically a glorified remix of the original.
That said, even the lesser ROCKY flicks all perhaps could have worked if executed within their natural parameters, but they don't. Consider the premise for ROCKY IV, where after Rocky Balboa wins back his title belt, he is challenged by the Soviet Union's boxing champion (Dolph Lundgren) to a match, which Balboa turns down. His retired ex-champ buddy Apollo takes up the offer instead, spewing Cold War propaganda nonsense about how the beacon of freedom that is America must stand up to the Russians. Not that I personally mind such rhetoric for remember, I'm a fan of RED DAWN, but am I being silly to think that such words coming from a black American's mouth in the 1980s is.......awkward?
What progresses is the unintentionally funniest sequence in the whole film, where in Las Vegas you have Lundgren humbly walk into the ring as a stoic cyborg, then Weathers has this epic introduction 10 minute ceremony with banners, pageantry, fireworks and dancers up the ass, with James Brown crooning "Living in America." Then Lundgren beats him to death in under 2. I know Creed is supposed to have been retired for years and all, but damn for a guy that was Balboa's equal and helped him to take down Mr. T, Stallone has Creed go out like a pathetic pussy chump. Why am I reminded now of Kimbo Slice, that hyped-up Internet Mixed Martial Artist brawler Kimbo Slice who got punked out in fourteen seconds by a nobody?
Anyway, Stallone demands revenge with his own challenge to Lundgren, and this is what I've never understood. What is accomplished in a simple boxing match? Consider how most revenge tales throughout the history of the world involve the avenger killing who wronged him or her. So really, even if Balboa wins that Lundgren match in Moscow, Apollo Creed is still dead, his kids still lost their father, and his wife is still nameless. ROCKY IV is basically the LICENSE TO KILL of the ROCKY saga, with irrational revenge plotting that somehow wraps itself up with a happy feel-good ending for everyone.
Except for the Creed family of course.
I know I'm bashing ROCKY IV pretty hard here, but there are some moments I liked. Take when the always dependable Burt Young insults the Soviets at the press conference with "At least we don't keep our own people behind walls at gunpoint!" Now that's good flag-waving righ there. Then in the great ROCKY tradition, we get a training montage. Yes it's nonsense I persume that despite his state-of-the-art Soviet gym, equipment and steroids, Lundgren is still beaten by the American who wins by grueling training from ferrying a manned sled, chopping wood, and marching up mountains. But it does work I must admit as effective nationalist symbology, if over the top and goofy.
I still don't get how if Creed was equal to Balboa, and he gets murdered in under two rounds, how Balboa could make up the gap between him and Lundgren brutality-wise, but that is neither here or there I guess.
But even all that is wrecked by the little details, and they're way too many of them. Lundgren is solid as the foreign cyborg wrecking machine, but his assistant in Brigitte Nielsen (Stallone's wife at the time) is atrocious, as I had described her in my RED SONJA review: "She's so incompetent, if your family was held at gunpoint and she was told to act, they might as well start planning their funerals. Not only can she not act her way out of a paper bag, its tied down with rocks and thrown into the river."
Then you have that whole bitchy exchange between Stallone and Talia Shire about why he must fight, a mainstay of the series it seems. But it's artificial, more obligatory than organic, and the dated-to-hell lame music by Survivor doesn't help.
But the biggest stain is what happens in the finale bout. Yeah I assume living in the old Soviet Union sucked, but I just don't buy all those Russian spectators cheering for Balboa. Maybe a respectful clap because this America is fighting an admirable brawl OK, but this is ridiculous. Then after I say this, the biggest mindfuck occurs. Balboa knocks out Lundgren, and the Soviet leadership then stand up and applaud Balboa's victory.
WHAT THE HELL?!?
If you don't see what is so retarded about that, imagine if the situation was reversed where a Soviet boxer defeated an American at Madison Square Garden in New York City, and President Reagan stands up and applauds. Do you see that happening? Of Course Not! If he had, his own party would have impeached his ass.
Then Stallone snowballs that insanity by further stroking his ego (the size of Texas at this time in the Reagan Decade) when he gives a speech of how the US and USSR can get along. A nice if harmless thought, but Sly pulls this off as if he ended the Cold War.
Finally, I have two questions: First, since we never see the lovable-loser bum Young with a woman in the entire franchise, did he molest the female robot he got for his birthday? Now I know that since robots are like gays in that in the eyes of American law they aren't equal in terms of civil rights to the rest of us, but rape is rape, and it's wrong.
Second, how depressing or annoying is that ROCKY IV is the highest-grossing sports movie in history? Just remember, those same pesky Europeans who roll their eyes at American flag-waving and patriotic ramblings helped make ROCKY IV the champ.
Don't deny it. Take some responsbility will ya?
*=ROCKY BALBOA did stop this trend thankfully, but I consider it more of a direct sequel to the original, as if the other entries after ROCKY II never happened