Post by ronnierocketago on Jan 23, 2010 17:48:34 GMT
THE PRESIDIO (1988) - *1/2
There are only two decent things about THE PRESIDIO, so let's get them out of the way. First is this bar fight where Sean Connery kicks ass by using only his thumbs. Second is this one amazing atmospheric shot of a living room lighted only by the fireplace. I don't know how director/cinematographer Peter Hyams pulled that off, but it proves that he maybe is one of the more underrated directors of photography in the business. In fact he's DPing the upcoming release UNIVERSAL SOLDIER: REGENERATION, which was directed by his son John Hyams.
OK We done then?
Good because otherwise, this is a complete piece of shit. Pure rubbish, this project is a crass and ugly cynical Hollywood exercise of following (without understanding) a supposed formula blueprint to success without any considerate serious thought or inspired creativity put behind this project by anyone involved. This is almost the movie equivalent of those cute and soulless pop boy bands, an episode of SIT DOWN, SHUT UP, or any Jay Leno monologue. Nothing substantial in THE PRESIDIO from the filmatics, acting, writing or anything else essential is compelling or interesting, much less entertaining. I know I'm notorious for my supposed low standards, but PRESIDIO doesn't give me any serious reason to defend it.
You're shit out of luck buddy.
As much as I shit on fellow 1988 turkey LITTLE NIKITA, at least that loser had a fascinating (if unexploited) high concept that in another time or place could have become a decent picture. THE PRESIDIO is garbage in any reality. This movie sucks. Why am I so pissed off about a movie nobody back then or now gives a damn about? To use a colorful metaphor, you know what is the difference between getting kicked hard in the balls by a celebrity and a nobody? Nothing - both still hurts like a son of a bitch.
Now the so-called "buddy movie," which really clogged up 1980s action cinema, isn't high art. Nor is it complicated entertainment brain science, for they all are basically the same movie except a few distinct facets I've noticed which mark the difference between a good one, and the rest:
(1) You need the leads to have good acting chemistry, that makes the audience believe they would be hanging around and more exactly, why they can't stand each other.
(2) Good scripted (or improvised) situations and character moments that define people instead of archetypes and cliches.
(3) Relationships which are naturally compelling and conflicting, whether by profession (cop and crook in 48 HRS.), lifestyles (psycho loner and sane family man in LETHAL WEAPON), ethnicity (black and Asian in RUSH HOUR), and so forth.
Using this simplistic diagram, let's dissect THE PRESIDIO.
(1) Sean Connery is a badass legend, and previously kicked butt in Hyams' terrific space western OUTLAND. Mark Harmon is an underrated actor, mostly typecasted for years as a nice guy heartthrob (like ST. ELSEWHERE), but has enjoyed a recent career resurgence as the hardass cop on the wildly popular (and fun) N.C.I.S. Are both men good actors? Yes. Are both men good together? No. There is no organic click between them. They're together only because it sounded good on paper. So did the Munich Pact. MONEY TRAIN also was worthless, but at least Woody Harleson and Wesley Snipes were biscuits and gravy, peas and carrots, bread and butter together.
(2) Connery here is basically playing Sean Connery again, which is fine but asides from the (I must admit sorta cool) thumb fighting, he's just a tough no-nonsense patriarch because he wears a military uniform. And yells alot. Alot. Harmon is a maverick cop because he drives a Porsche and wears a Axel Foley-wannabe sports jacket. Yeah well so what if he's a Grateful Dead nerd? That's not a trait. That's an opinion. Plus I don't care at all for that overrated bullshit.
(3) Harmon's character formerly was in the Army as an M.P. (Military Police), and left because his boss Connery refused to back him up over an incident where Harmon decked an officer during an arrest. Nevermind that this makes absolutely no fucking sense considering said officer was drunk and swung at him first but then we wouldn't have "conflict" now would we? I feel like I'm watching another season of 24. Also Harmon is banging Connery's daughter Meg Ryan. I love how movies always make us forget most such casted "families" never look or act nothing alike in any way. Except she yells alot too. Why Ryan and Harmon supposedly like each other?
Err, umm eh...because the script said so?
If you're a desperate enough Hyams completist like me or just hate life enough in general to go watch THE PRESIDIO, you'll notice how the film when it's not obligated tries to avoid the murder mystery that Harmon and Connery are trying to solve. It's almost an afterthought, how those two figure everything out by (I kid you not) watching a drop-off from a distance away in a car. Err what? Then you realize something startling. This movie is bored by it's own plot! Like a white buffalo or a honest politician, this is something remarkable you don't see everyday.
I can't blame you movie for sleeping at yourself, but dammit you're a professional. Act like you give a shit because if you don't, why should we? In fact, boring is the perfect word for THE PRESIDIO. Boring cast, boring direction, boring story, boring action sequences, zzzzzzzz. Even the most mindless actioneers (like say GLIMMER MAN or KNOCK-OFF) can't be accused of inducing comas.
THE PRESIDIO is easily the worst Hyams effort I've seen so far. Yes even worse than STAY TUNED. That one with so many lame and unfunny gags, you at least can tolerate many simply because of the likeable goodwill brought by John Ritter. I like Harmon, I like Connery, I like Hyams (sometimes), but nobody can make me shrug off PRESIDIO's dull narrative. Interestingly, Harmon is married in real-life to Pam Dawber, who starred in TUNED. A more interesting fact than THE PRESIDIO the picture.
In short, I hate this movie.