Post by ronnierocketago on Nov 29, 2008 23:15:07 GMT
TRANSPORTER 3 (2008) - ***
Remember those critics who complained that QUANTUM OF SOLACE had no story but simply linked several car chase, gun fights, and other action sequences together? Well they should have written that review for this film.
But people don't go to a TRANSPORTER movie for the plot, they buy the ticket or rent the DVD to watch Jason Statham kick and beat the total shit out of everyone. If they're like me who saw the original and previous sequel in theatres, they know what to expect for TRANSPORTER 3 doesn't deviate from the series formula: The mercenary driver Frank Martin (Statham) is doing his own thing and doesn't give a shit about else until he gets inadvertedly involved in a conspiracy with terrorists and gangsters, always cites his rules of professionalism which he precedes to break, gets involved romantically with a beautiful-but-rather-useless mysterious woman, prefers to work alone but this is always denied, practically wanks off repeatedly to anyone who will listen about taking good care of his car, has an ally in a French inspector (Francois Berleand), pulls off stunts and wheel-tricks that make the Laws of Physics tap out, and always conveniently finds a ways to take his shirt off while he's stomping some ass.
Oh and nobody ever remembers or worries about that whole plot thing, before, during, or afterwards. Thank God.
The whole TRANSPORTER saga from writer/producer Luc Besson is for a certain testosterone-hungry audience pure episodic quality B-action cinema, or the trashy version of the James Bond pictures. Being respectable isn't a high priority. It's junk food that may give you gas afterwards, but goddamn it was delicious. Yet I might be the minority here, even among that global fanbase, to believe that this maybe is the best of the franchise so far. The first TRANSPORTER was a nice kick ass popcorn flick needed in a wussified pussy year that was 2002, when Vin Diesel's XXX was marketed as cool (about as much as Vanilla Ice), which ironically suffered only because it had too much plot (and not a good one), and a terrible actress in Qi Shu. The second TRANSPORTER set in Miami didn't bother with a script, and instead gave us a Michael Bay-esque arsenal of ridiculous as hell action shots but for a fraction of the cost (Bay's Miami-based BAD BOYS II budget was $130 million, TRANSPORTER 2 only $32 million.)
With TRANSPORTER 3, Statham gets cuffed by some nefarious people with a wrist-bomb, that activates if he is 20 feet away from his beloved Audi A8 W12, unless he delivers a Ukranian girl (Natalya Rudakova). Besson and his crew seem to finally balance between a pulp narrative and enough bustleness to meet its quota to satisfy the fans. We get cliffhanger moments of which the hero suffers in his predictament: Someone carjacks Statham, and he has to catch up by riding a bicycle. He's trapped on a bridge, each route blocked by machine gun-wielding thugs. His car sinks down to the bottom of a lake, stuck on a train railcar as the villains flees away on another, and how he solves both problems will bemuse and amuse you to no end.
So this basically is like Statham's own CRANK, except unfortunately not as batshit and creatively insane. No public humping here. Besson and his crew seem to finally balance between a pulp narrative and enough bustleness to meet its quota to satisfy the fans. A nice joke is when Statham complains that Rudakova is too pessimistic and gloomy, so she takes some ectasy with Vodka and becomes an unconcerned flower girl who doesn't take their shared dire situation seriously. Be careful what you wish for. Also, I even bought the slightly overlong scene when she wants sex with Statham, if simply to do it one more time before the bombs go off. I mean can you blame her really? I even like that Berleand here is neither a punchline boob or an useless lackey, but actually apparently a competent cop. Hooray for French pride!
An idea suggested in TRANSPORTER 2 but discarded here is the concept that Statham himself might possibly be gay (which conflicts with him banging Qi Shu, but nevermind). I mean imagine if Besson had some actual balls in the first place and decided to have a true homosexual action hero? I mean he could have created something radically unique for the 2000s, and because Statham is so good at his role in whipping people up like cookie dough, even the most homophobic people would have enjoyed his action antics. Plus, it would have made that whole copulation turn more interesting in a bizarre sort of way.
Back in 2002, TRANSPORTER made me a fan of Statham, and I truely thought that he had the potential to be a major movie star, and I still do. As an action lead he is physically charismatic, and he can act to boot, both as a Cockney thug or a pompous white-collar wanker. Basically he's the Charles Bronson for our decade. The problem is, he is too much like Bronson in that he's pigeonholed into these low/modest-budget actioneers that usually make a profit, but which Statham apparently does for a quick paycheck, regardless of script quality. Consider last year when he appeared in hack auteur Uwe Boll's turd IN THE NAME OF THE KING or with Jet Li in the pure matinee flick WAR (which I liked, but nobody else did). Then look at 2008 where he starred in THE BANK JOB, an entertainingly underrated and underseen heist picture and the insultingly atrocious turkey DEATH RACE. The guy needs a better agent or something.
TRANSPORTER 3 isn't as good as THE BANK JOB, but as a solid genre ticket it is light years superior to DEATH RACE. Plus, it opens on Statham while he is fishing. To introduce the badass hero doing such a mundane hobby, it gets points from me. Plus, just look at the director's name: Olivier Megaton.
I shit you not.