Post by ronnierocketago on Mar 21, 2009 4:13:08 GMT
LETHAL WEAPON 3 (1992) - **1/2
What did RUSH HOUR 3, the last INDIANA JONES movie, and this one have in common? The cast and crew coming back together after a series of incredibly popular movies for one more trip to the ATM, and they quite succeeded as such. Too bad that was all they cared about, and as a result we got rather lackluster efforts. Yes I understand that the point of Hollywood, especially the summer blockbuster, is to not make money, but a shitload of money, and we don't mind being whores as long as we get an orgasm out of it. Come on, make us pay for entertainment rather than donate that money to oh I don't know, to help starving kids or build homes for the homeless or whatever.
Please don't make us charitable unless we're depressed over the holidays or whatever.
The two previous LETHAL WEAPON entries had a winning combination of thrilling action cinema and humor, usually derived from Danny Glover complaining about his comfortable suburban family lifestyle and Mel Gibson playing half-cocked between lunatic and loony toon (though after his last DUI arrest, we now know that he wasn't pretending.) LETHAL WEAPON 3 sorta forgot to fill out that essential quota, and instead throw together enough gunfights and one-liners together into a lukewarm generic actioneer, ok for everyone else but not for the high standards of this franchise. Remember when you had to pen a book report, and instead of actually reading the novel you basically copy and pasted, change some words here and there, from Cliff Notes the night before its due? Well most of WEAPON 3 feels choppy like that, where no real serious effort was put into it, or in some ways this is DIE HARD 2 all over again. I also realize that these characters who earlier came off as charming likeable cops are really just complete assholes.
Take that opening sequence with the bomb. There is whole lot of time left on that bomb clock for the Bomb Squad to come in and do their job, but no Gibson wants to disarm it himself, in a playful mode like we would if we decided impulsively to kidnap your rival school's mascot. And what qualifications does he actually have? Sure in the first WEAPON from his Vietnam War days, he can identify explosives, but that's not the same as actually knowing a bomb? But what's stupid is when he cites the infamous toilet bomb from the second WEAPON as the basis of his expertise, when last I remember, the Bomb Squad were the ones who liquid nitrogen gassed the sucker, and Gibson only got Glover off the can. Just because your buddy's house got bombed doesn't mean you've grasped mastery of the subject.
With Glover trying to point out all this, I also realize how Glover in these movies is like that fat kid you knew who would forever warning and whining at your hellraiser buddy that they all are gonna get into trouble his latest stunt, but never seriously or physical does anything to stop him. You know, a bitch.
I get it, the whole thing is a joke at the "hunch" bullshit that cop movies traditionally employed to cheat through a plot, but the punchline with them causing the whole building to explode....meh. What I don't get is when all of a sudden, a cat lands on them in the parking garage. Where did it come from? OK maybe if it was a stray (but where did it fall from?) but it looks like those tabby house cats that are well-fed and groomed, not the skinny wild dirtballs that stray cats fresh off the local lab experiments you confront in nowhere at the middle of the night.
Did you realize something here in this review? I'm questioning the logic in an action movie, which usually means I'm bored. This is not a good sign people.
Afterwards as punishment they get demoted to patrolmen duty, which is I guess supposed to be funny too, but rather I'm wondering why they weren't fired. I guess its because of their earned goodwill from the past for shooting Gary Busey and murdering the local South African consulate, but despite all that they should be made unemployed if simply from their wrecklessnes and arrogance that caused that parking garage to explode. No, saving the cat doesn't excuse you. Then I'm disturbed when they get a good laugh from threatening a jaywalker with a bullet. Now that chap was lucky that Gibson didn't think he was a Jew, or else he would have pulled the trigger.
So when they inevitably get their badges back for the big case, yes I have to criticize the judgment of their captain, and agree with the genre-obligatory-shithead-by-the-book-bureaucrat-who-criticizes-the-heroes superior here for once. I know these two are apparently the only competent cops in the LAPD, but you gotta have limits here. Sure John McClane in the DIE HARD movies is an jerk, along with Dirty Harry, but you never see me questioning his motives or actions of those cops...and Clint Eastwood there was a borderline racist. Point is, one can be an asshole in general, but not while on the job, which those LETHAL WEAPON guys can't unfortunately distinguish the difference.
I mean look at Joe Pesci. Yes he's a slimeball, but as a buddy he helps them dig up some clues (including the decisive deux ex machinas lead), chases for all risk and without reward after the villain at the hockey game, and even takes a bullet for them. But what do Gibson and Glover do? Abuse him constantly and even schedule a rectal exam on him at the hospital. Yeah I know Pesci was thankful for them saving his ass in WEAPON 2, but they're not his pals, they are his bullies. Also if you're selling your house, would you hire a known scam artist criminal be your real estate broker? Of course not, but that's no excuse to beat him up when he's doing his job about full disclosure.
Did I mention that Gibson and Glover are assholes in this movie?
The first half of LETHAL WEAPON 3 can best described as a dud, with a car chase that feels routine that never gets me involved, and jokes firing everywhere but all missing their mark. There's a terrible running gag about a big black fat woman trying to seduce Glover and driving after Gibson, saying how "I'm a Road Warrior!" [/i] Jeez what a subtle reference, much less of a Gibson movie with car chases that were rather intense, and with some good laughs as well. You know, one that I had fun watching. I wish I was reviewing that one instead of this one. (Make Note, RRA)
You'll also realize how with all this happening, there is no plot.[/i] Supposedly WEAPON 3 was produced without a finished script, which explains why Pesci feel jammed through the narrative (he originally wasn't in the first draft)and it shows badly with the villain Stuart Wilson. It's strange how almost virtually non-existent the baddie is within WEAPON 3, how little thought was put into that character, and how little dramatic weight Wilson puts behind his part. Apparently according to WEAPON 3, just say he's a corrupt cop and that's it. For years whenever this played on TV, I would keep forgetting who the baddie was or his scheme, and I think WEAPON 3 does too.
This brings up a great plot hole (uh oh) where Internal Affairs agent Rene Russo thinks (correctly) that Wilson the insider is selling weapons from police storage, they later said that he simply disapeared years earlier without a trace, but Wilson just before that walks into the police precinct and nobody from his station reacts to this missing man turning up out of the blue. What the fuck? Not even a "Hey buddy where you been all these years?" shoutout?
A touch I liked though was him laundering his money through a rather nice suburban housing project out in the middle of the desert. Quite random, but different for the genre in a good way. I wished they could have played that up more.
Then you have Russo being a rough & tough gal as a match for Gibson, even each showing off their scars this side of JAWS, but I just don't buy her at all as a tomboy. Nor with her supposed gritty fights, though I did like her kicking out the Jack right under a car, and the tire landing on a thug's foot. Owww. She lacks any real physical chemistry with Gibson to make that supposed flirtation, and whatever its her fault or the script (whatever passed for one), I don't know. Plus, what kind of a girl likes the THREE STOOGES? Us guys tend to usually be the ones who really like that numbskullery comedy. This reminds me of advice I got in freshman year in college that has worked out well for me: "Never date a woman who's favorite movie is FIGHT CLUB"[/i]
Speaking of plot holes, probably the most annoyingly useless elements in WEAPON 3 is the ole abused Glover-finally-gonna-retire storyline, along with a guns-ghetto melodrama that's about as in-depth as director Richard Donner watching the trailer of BOYZ N THE HOOD. You have Gibson crying of how Glover's retirement is gonna end his life, but didn't Gibson just do it with the female star of FREEJACK? So what gives when a movie can't even remember to keep its own plot lines straight? WEAPON 3 brings up armor-piercing bullets, yet the baddies never really utilize this great advantage over the cops, especially in the finale when it maybe could have, you know, helped them win. Sorry but they deserved to die for sheer incompetence, even more than your usual action cinema henchmen.
I wouldn't say WEAPON 3 was a total wash-out. The subway shootout was the first genuine moment when I was actually excited about what I was watching, about too late to save the movie but better late than never. Loved the truck that drove on both rails and road, and Gibson jumping in front of a high-speed train, holding on while blasting bullets away. Also thought Glover displayed some actually terrific acting when pissed with violence against the black gunrunners for "committing genocide against their own people!" scene, though I call him a hypocrite for late using that exact same gun in the climax. Murder is murder dude. Also the last scene displays the humor that most of the film had sorely lacked. Shit were you comedy, why are you tardy?
LETHAL WEAPON 3 is the sort of hard disposable review to aritculate (or ramble), alot like THE GLIMMER MAN, for you neither like or hate the picture, you just want to say fuck it simply because I feel like a total asshole for even reviewing this with my usual 1,000 word ramblings. At least with a good a bad film, you emote a shit, in joy or pain, both always better than numb. I'll try better sometime.