Post by ronnierocketago on Jun 13, 2009 18:42:57 GMT
STONE COLD (1991) - ***1/2
I understand that not everyone at AwardsDaily or FCM are actionphiles like I am. I accept that finally after all these years. I know I like to play the outsider rebel in trying to force respect or attention to the genre, but in reality I realize I might actually just be that awkward oddball in the classroom who only wants to fit in with the crowd...just on his terms.
Consider alot of my reviews. I try to at times to pimp action movies that perhaps alot of you usual non-action fans would go check out and might enjoy, like perhaps the must see classic DIE HARD, like the cult favorite THE LAST BOY SCOUT, or even an obscure not-on-DVD-in-America title like I COME IN PEACE. Maybe I didn't successfully pull that off, maybe I did, I don't know. I would say probably not, for most folks who do complement me (even if they disagree) are action buffs in the first place.
Well this movie is for those guys, the genre afficionados who would greatly appreciate something like STONE COLD. No offense to the rest of you, but STONE COLD is the sort of picture alot of you would by habit dismiss as generic routine by the book, or use much more negative language. I mean what would you all expect from a film starring a pro football player? Be honest. STONE COLD fits proudly with Mark L. Lester's SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO in the friday night special tradition of sitting in your chair, kicking back in your wife beater, and watching this while consuming cheap beer and greasy pizza. But STONE COLD gives SHOWDOWN the stunner.
I mean just watch this opening sequence of STONE COLD at a hijacked supermarket. Of course if you know anything about the genre by now, you would know to assume the hero cop Brian Bosworth to walk into the store (intentionally or not) and will find a way to solve this problem. You'll notice three things: (1) Mr. Bosworth, Vanilla Ice called. He wants his tacky-ass costume back to return to MC Hammer (2) Hey, is that chick held hostage that same sidekick/lesbian icon from XENA? Holy shit it is! (3) Now that's a clever and hands-off approach in dealing with the last hood.
Certainly STONE COLD starts out as what you might assume. Bosworth is a suspended cop, gets berated by his superiors for doing his job in kicking ass, and is a gutsy maverick cop who gets away with basically whatever the hell he does. He even gets stuck with the obligatory spineless by the book partner, which all that (minus the alien villain) was basically the same plot of I COME IN PEACE, the previous effort of STONE COLD director Craig R. Baxley.
Bosworth, aka The Boz, was before my time. He was a major college star linebacker in the late 80s who never quite translated that success in the NFL, retired after four seasons from injuries, and unfortunely his pro career might be more remembered for that iconic image of Bo Jackson driving right through him for a touchdown on Monday Night Football.
Remember that rule of mine to not expect good or bad from a film, just let it be? Well I violated that code by assuming the worst from Bosworth. On that DVD cover, I realized how he shares an uncanny resemblance to pro wrestling/wannabe movie star John Cena, who's 12 ROUNDS I reviewed earlier this year. I wouldn't say Boz necessarily stood out, but his intimidating physicality is completely adequete for something like STONE COLD, which I think Cena lacks. He also reportedly used his own motorcylcle for the project that he had built previously. That's cool.
In in spite of Bosworth's then-trademark dumb mullet, he won me over for his scene at his Apartment. He puts out food for "Fido," only for the camera to reveal his pet to be a Komodo dragon. Remember MIAMI VICE when Don Johnson had a Gator on his houseboat? Well Bosworth kissing and loving on his dragon (perverted slang?) is slightly more cool methinks. I mean instead of a gimmick, it comes off as a legitimate domestic and housebroken animal companion. I don't think Will Smith could have pulled that off.
For the FBI, Bosworth goes undercover as John Stone (get it?) and joins The Brotherhood, a motorcycle/criminal biker gang in Alabama led by the awesome Lance Henriksen, and his enforcer William Forsythe, who got that gig apparently because he was more violently psychotic than Henriksen. I mean Forsythe feeds a dissident's fingers into the spinning wheel of his hog.
STONE COLD digiligently follows the time-honored infiltration formula: Bosworth is turned away by the gang at first, has their back and earns trust and respect by helping to kick alot of ass. I don't think he was directly involved with stuffing that mobster's decapitated skull into that helmet gift given at the elite restaurant, but you never know. The FBI helps him set up a faux-murder and narcotics sale of PSP to convince this crew. He beomes pals with a misfit member, who is likeable despite having no qualms with committing crimes and spilling blood. He earns the trust of Henriksen's estranged woman, a possible love interest who is quite visibly upset when she finds out his occupation. Finally the gang get out the truth.
But a curious thing happens with STONE COLD. It starts off as watchable if a typical and mostly uninspired actioneer you would expect from the late 1980s and early 90s. But midway it subversively becomes a disguised throwback to the bikersploitation flicks (and other such B-bastard fare) of the 1960s and 70s, and charmingly effective at that. In the exciting and thrilling action climax at the Alabama State Capitol, its less about mindless shootouts and pretty fireballs, but more about larger-than-life very masculine personalities duking it out with fists in the ruins, and defying the storytelling expectations of those who had hoped for a safe and harmless adventure.
What is it though about biker gangs that have captivated the American mythology for all these decades? A cheap guess would be that they are the American contemporary version, or the closest at least, to our own romanticized version of pirates and vikings. Nomadic tribes who respect no law and no one except their own, and roam the landscape for communities to raid, rape, and pillage for fun and riches. Proudly libertarian at best, anarchy thriving at worst. A nice scene is when one of their new freshfish members gets shot up by the Mafia, and the gang including the leadership visit him at the hospital, parading him with buddy support, booze, pizza, women, etc. They even give a dead officer his own viking fiery funeral. Indeed its that closed system of sincere loyal comradeship to each other which explains why a person who would you figure would have motive to betray this gang, instead backstabs Bosworth.
See, would most of you have picked up all that besides watching the surface narrative? I doubt it. In all these action movies, having villains be menacing or threatening is always a trouble because we've seen it all done. STONE COLD doesn't change the game, but it's a nice reminder that sometimes personalities and bravado is all that it takes. Henriksen and Forsythe are those type of actors who always stand out memorably, no matter the quality of the product (and trust me, they've done lots of bad films), and excel at being credible slimeballs. Forsythe himself even stood out as a villain in the Steven Seagal vehicle OUT FOR JUSTICE, and somehow as the cop in THE DEVIL'S REJECTS allowed a homicidal cannibalistic family of crazed murderers come out as the heroes.
Eat that Laurence Olivier.
The Brotherhood assassinates upclose and personal several priests and preachers. After one of their members got convicted to life without parole, the Brotherhood bomb the Judge to smithereens. What's funny is that in the new trial prosecuted by a District Attorney/leading candidate for Governor, and being proceeded by the State Supreme Court, the defendent gets the needle. Maybe blowing up the Judge's boat wasn't so smart after all, but that's besides the point. They even gundown several National Guardsmen without hestitation, and mail them to the Governor. Why? Because they could, that's why bitches.
And you know what? They make Al Qaeda look like a bunch of pussies who only jerk off in caves and hump their camels while letting others crash planes into skyscrapers for them. For that grand assassination/massacre at the Capitol, this outfit has supply trucks, machine guns galore, a Huey helicopter, and of course their bikes. No masks, no hiding their guilt, and no one is running away. I was pretty shocked when the gang do actually pull their doomsday scheme against the government, which is a nice change of pace. I mean the Boz is a decent action hero, but even he can't do everything like a John McClane or whatever.
I've overhyped and overpraised STONE COLD to a point that it won't stand up to you all if anyone actually Netflix the sucker. But you know what? Fuck it too bad, I absolutely enjoyed it. It's movies like STONE COLD, even as crazy and dumb as it can be, why I love the American action movie, especially those from a time when steady cam choreography/ADD choreography/Michael Bay didn't pollute the genre. Baxley sadly has only helmed three theatrically-released action movies so far, with his I COME IN PEACE and STONE COLD utterly entertaining, and I haven't seen ACTION JACKSON yet. Baxley also shot the direct-to-video UNDER PRESSURE (with "Charles" Sheen), but I'm not gonna waste my time with that.
Baxley seemed to have a knack of blending terrific stunts, joyful ignitions, jock actors with the professionals, and colorful personalities into a satisfying action cinema, which in STONE he presents a moment where all at once we're given a broken window, broad manly chest, giant machine gun, a motorcycle crash, bullets flying, and a helicopter blowing up real good. For those hungry for that sort of ticket, STONE COLD will punch it for them, with an explosion.
I understand that not everyone at AwardsDaily or FCM are actionphiles like I am. I accept that finally after all these years. I know I like to play the outsider rebel in trying to force respect or attention to the genre, but in reality I realize I might actually just be that awkward oddball in the classroom who only wants to fit in with the crowd...just on his terms.
Consider alot of my reviews. I try to at times to pimp action movies that perhaps alot of you usual non-action fans would go check out and might enjoy, like perhaps the must see classic DIE HARD, like the cult favorite THE LAST BOY SCOUT, or even an obscure not-on-DVD-in-America title like I COME IN PEACE. Maybe I didn't successfully pull that off, maybe I did, I don't know. I would say probably not, for most folks who do complement me (even if they disagree) are action buffs in the first place.
Well this movie is for those guys, the genre afficionados who would greatly appreciate something like STONE COLD. No offense to the rest of you, but STONE COLD is the sort of picture alot of you would by habit dismiss as generic routine by the book, or use much more negative language. I mean what would you all expect from a film starring a pro football player? Be honest. STONE COLD fits proudly with Mark L. Lester's SHOWDOWN IN LITTLE TOKYO in the friday night special tradition of sitting in your chair, kicking back in your wife beater, and watching this while consuming cheap beer and greasy pizza. But STONE COLD gives SHOWDOWN the stunner.
I mean just watch this opening sequence of STONE COLD at a hijacked supermarket. Of course if you know anything about the genre by now, you would know to assume the hero cop Brian Bosworth to walk into the store (intentionally or not) and will find a way to solve this problem. You'll notice three things: (1) Mr. Bosworth, Vanilla Ice called. He wants his tacky-ass costume back to return to MC Hammer (2) Hey, is that chick held hostage that same sidekick/lesbian icon from XENA? Holy shit it is! (3) Now that's a clever and hands-off approach in dealing with the last hood.
Certainly STONE COLD starts out as what you might assume. Bosworth is a suspended cop, gets berated by his superiors for doing his job in kicking ass, and is a gutsy maverick cop who gets away with basically whatever the hell he does. He even gets stuck with the obligatory spineless by the book partner, which all that (minus the alien villain) was basically the same plot of I COME IN PEACE, the previous effort of STONE COLD director Craig R. Baxley.
Bosworth, aka The Boz, was before my time. He was a major college star linebacker in the late 80s who never quite translated that success in the NFL, retired after four seasons from injuries, and unfortunely his pro career might be more remembered for that iconic image of Bo Jackson driving right through him for a touchdown on Monday Night Football.
Remember that rule of mine to not expect good or bad from a film, just let it be? Well I violated that code by assuming the worst from Bosworth. On that DVD cover, I realized how he shares an uncanny resemblance to pro wrestling/wannabe movie star John Cena, who's 12 ROUNDS I reviewed earlier this year. I wouldn't say Boz necessarily stood out, but his intimidating physicality is completely adequete for something like STONE COLD, which I think Cena lacks. He also reportedly used his own motorcylcle for the project that he had built previously. That's cool.
In in spite of Bosworth's then-trademark dumb mullet, he won me over for his scene at his Apartment. He puts out food for "Fido," only for the camera to reveal his pet to be a Komodo dragon. Remember MIAMI VICE when Don Johnson had a Gator on his houseboat? Well Bosworth kissing and loving on his dragon (perverted slang?) is slightly more cool methinks. I mean instead of a gimmick, it comes off as a legitimate domestic and housebroken animal companion. I don't think Will Smith could have pulled that off.
For the FBI, Bosworth goes undercover as John Stone (get it?) and joins The Brotherhood, a motorcycle/criminal biker gang in Alabama led by the awesome Lance Henriksen, and his enforcer William Forsythe, who got that gig apparently because he was more violently psychotic than Henriksen. I mean Forsythe feeds a dissident's fingers into the spinning wheel of his hog.
STONE COLD digiligently follows the time-honored infiltration formula: Bosworth is turned away by the gang at first, has their back and earns trust and respect by helping to kick alot of ass. I don't think he was directly involved with stuffing that mobster's decapitated skull into that helmet gift given at the elite restaurant, but you never know. The FBI helps him set up a faux-murder and narcotics sale of PSP to convince this crew. He beomes pals with a misfit member, who is likeable despite having no qualms with committing crimes and spilling blood. He earns the trust of Henriksen's estranged woman, a possible love interest who is quite visibly upset when she finds out his occupation. Finally the gang get out the truth.
But a curious thing happens with STONE COLD. It starts off as watchable if a typical and mostly uninspired actioneer you would expect from the late 1980s and early 90s. But midway it subversively becomes a disguised throwback to the bikersploitation flicks (and other such B-bastard fare) of the 1960s and 70s, and charmingly effective at that. In the exciting and thrilling action climax at the Alabama State Capitol, its less about mindless shootouts and pretty fireballs, but more about larger-than-life very masculine personalities duking it out with fists in the ruins, and defying the storytelling expectations of those who had hoped for a safe and harmless adventure.
What is it though about biker gangs that have captivated the American mythology for all these decades? A cheap guess would be that they are the American contemporary version, or the closest at least, to our own romanticized version of pirates and vikings. Nomadic tribes who respect no law and no one except their own, and roam the landscape for communities to raid, rape, and pillage for fun and riches. Proudly libertarian at best, anarchy thriving at worst. A nice scene is when one of their new freshfish members gets shot up by the Mafia, and the gang including the leadership visit him at the hospital, parading him with buddy support, booze, pizza, women, etc. They even give a dead officer his own viking fiery funeral. Indeed its that closed system of sincere loyal comradeship to each other which explains why a person who would you figure would have motive to betray this gang, instead backstabs Bosworth.
See, would most of you have picked up all that besides watching the surface narrative? I doubt it. In all these action movies, having villains be menacing or threatening is always a trouble because we've seen it all done. STONE COLD doesn't change the game, but it's a nice reminder that sometimes personalities and bravado is all that it takes. Henriksen and Forsythe are those type of actors who always stand out memorably, no matter the quality of the product (and trust me, they've done lots of bad films), and excel at being credible slimeballs. Forsythe himself even stood out as a villain in the Steven Seagal vehicle OUT FOR JUSTICE, and somehow as the cop in THE DEVIL'S REJECTS allowed a homicidal cannibalistic family of crazed murderers come out as the heroes.
Eat that Laurence Olivier.
The Brotherhood assassinates upclose and personal several priests and preachers. After one of their members got convicted to life without parole, the Brotherhood bomb the Judge to smithereens. What's funny is that in the new trial prosecuted by a District Attorney/leading candidate for Governor, and being proceeded by the State Supreme Court, the defendent gets the needle. Maybe blowing up the Judge's boat wasn't so smart after all, but that's besides the point. They even gundown several National Guardsmen without hestitation, and mail them to the Governor. Why? Because they could, that's why bitches.
And you know what? They make Al Qaeda look like a bunch of pussies who only jerk off in caves and hump their camels while letting others crash planes into skyscrapers for them. For that grand assassination/massacre at the Capitol, this outfit has supply trucks, machine guns galore, a Huey helicopter, and of course their bikes. No masks, no hiding their guilt, and no one is running away. I was pretty shocked when the gang do actually pull their doomsday scheme against the government, which is a nice change of pace. I mean the Boz is a decent action hero, but even he can't do everything like a John McClane or whatever.
I've overhyped and overpraised STONE COLD to a point that it won't stand up to you all if anyone actually Netflix the sucker. But you know what? Fuck it too bad, I absolutely enjoyed it. It's movies like STONE COLD, even as crazy and dumb as it can be, why I love the American action movie, especially those from a time when steady cam choreography/ADD choreography/Michael Bay didn't pollute the genre. Baxley sadly has only helmed three theatrically-released action movies so far, with his I COME IN PEACE and STONE COLD utterly entertaining, and I haven't seen ACTION JACKSON yet. Baxley also shot the direct-to-video UNDER PRESSURE (with "Charles" Sheen), but I'm not gonna waste my time with that.
Baxley seemed to have a knack of blending terrific stunts, joyful ignitions, jock actors with the professionals, and colorful personalities into a satisfying action cinema, which in STONE he presents a moment where all at once we're given a broken window, broad manly chest, giant machine gun, a motorcycle crash, bullets flying, and a helicopter blowing up real good. For those hungry for that sort of ticket, STONE COLD will punch it for them, with an explosion.