Post by ronnierocketago on Feb 6, 2010 10:44:48 GMT
HUDSON HAWK (1991) - **1/2
At the unflattering Golden Raspberry Awards for 1991, HUDSON HAWK won Worst Picture, Director, and Screenplay but nominees Bruce Willis (Worst Actor) and Sandra Bernhard (Worst Supporting Actress) went home empty handed. Well they would if they had appeared in person at the awards. HUDSON HAWK is one of Hollywood's more infamous turkeys, indeed considered by many among the worst movies ever produced. Well they're half right.
HUDSON HAWK was one of those total box-office busts where everybody talked everything about the movie except the movie. Heavy press coverage detailed a chaotic and confused production with a runaway budget (reportedly upwards $65 million), Critics were ready with their knives sharpened when HAWK finally flew into theatres. Young if inexperienced director Michael Lehmann (HEATHERS) making his first major Hollywood picture for producer Joel Silver (DIE HARD, THE MATRIX) and star/co-writer Bruce Willis. Guess who ran that set.
A cinematographer was fired and replaced. Lead actress Isabella Rossellini quit before shooting, her substitute Maruschka Detmers then resigned a few days after production started due to back problems, finally (and certianly not first preference) Andie MacDowell was brought in. Endless rewriting, recutting, reshooting, nobody apparently happy with the action/comedy blockbuster they were making as testified by one of the TriStar Studio executives: "Everyone in this film seemed to be 'acting funny', but no one was funny."
HAWK was the pet project of sitcom TV star-turned-action hero Willis, inspired by a jingle (written by his buddy Robert Kraft) of the same title about a thief. He hatched the HAWK plot with said author, who randomly scored an Oscar nomination for THE LITTLE MERMAID and also composed the WHO'S THE BOSS? theme song. I thought a Broadway musical adapted from the AMERICAN IDIOT album was ludicrous. I suppose Willis wanted to make a lightweight campy adventure, maybe bridging MOONLIGHTING with DIE HARD.
And that's basically what we get. HAWK truely isn't as bad as it's reputation. I'm rather disapointed. I can in fact name several lousier Willis vehicles (TEARS OF THE SUN, THE WHOLE TEN YARDS, PERFECT STRANGER, etc.) and this isn't even Lehmann's worst movie. That would be BECAUSE I SAID SO. Oh trust me I refuse to call HAWK a good film necessarily, but I must admit that to a certain degree HAWK is actually watchable, even entertaining at times. Just not enough.
To someone who hasn't seen HUDSON HAWK, I would describe it this way: HAWK at its best (and absolute worst) is a frantic, undisciplined, and loud in your face cartoon which sometimes works and sometimes (usually) doesn't work. This is HELP! with A.D.D. You have a talented cast resorting to playing "wacky" by mugging the camera with goofy faces, chewing the scenery and then vomit it back up, and screaming alot. and yelling alot. The humor in comedy is defying our expectations, not just popping up sheer randomness like FAMILY GUY or whatever.
It's a movie desperate to make anyone laugh, trying way way way too hard to be funny, coming off many times as just obnoxious. This fires every possible goofy gag and stupid joke at you including the kitchen sink with the plumber's buttcrack a bonus. I would say that for every five jokes fired off the hip, one clicks. I'm reminded of another expensive flop with similar problems, Steven Spielberg's 1941. But to give HAWK credit, at least I can say I was never bored while watching it. And I laughed too.
Yet maybe that very nature of this disjointed beast is why HAWK has spawned a rather sizeable cult fanbase on the Internet. I'm not entirely sold, but I sorta understand the appeal for those people. They seem to like HAWK, in their words, taking an off-beat post-modernistic satire piss at the traditional Hollywood big actioneer made at the time. Willis particular at his DIE HARD persona, in contrast he plays a likeable but clueless lug who is constantly the butt of jokes and ridicule of everyone else. Friends and foe constantly betray him, and he is the last to know about anything. This shares traits (if more contained) with another 1991 Willis movie THE LAST BOY SCOUT which also shared a silly joke about reindeer goatcheese pizza.
Since I hate to analyze something as subjective as comedy (and what's the point), I'll finish the review by going play-by-play.
I hate whimsical storybook openings with the corny pompous narrator. I want that cliche to die. We didn't need this (pricey) Leonardo Da Vinci prologue. I guess HAWK beat Dan Brown by several years with a stupid conspiracy involving Da Vinci, the Catholic Church, and science. I wouldn't take Frank Stallone seriously either. I doubt his brother ever caught that diss. The best thing in HUDSON HAWK is Willis' scenes with Danny Aiello, they have terrific chemistry as music-nerd thieves who sing(!) during their heists. HAWK should have focused solely on those two. Willis and MacDowell have ZERO romantic heat. Goddamn I fucking miss James Coburn. He was awesome even with nothing. I wonder if he was honored (or insulted) by HAWK homaging OUR MAN FLINT.
The plot is definately making shit up as it goes along. The world was saved by alchemy shooting blanks. We need more movies with secret agent nun operatives. Naming your gang members after candybars isn't funny. I wanted many more scenes with David Caruso's charming mute Kit Kat communicating only with text cards. Liked that little detail that when killed, hundreds of such cards spill from his jacket. Yeah I also hate blue collar bars refurbished and hijacked by yuppies. "I'm the villain!"[/i] doesn't constitute proper character motivation. Here's your cut. That running punchline didn't pay off. Hey, Scary German Guy from THE MONSTER SQUAD got promoted to Roman Cardinal. That poodle deserved it. Bernhard so got Razzie snubbed.